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Schoolroom Howlers

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Henry Ford killed Jesse James.

(It was Bob Ford.  Henry was a bit busy at the time)

 

Michelangelo designed the dome of St. Paul’s

Cathedral in London.

(If Sir Christopher Wren were alive he would hope this belief never caught on)

 

A solar eclipse is when the sun comes between the earth and the moon.

(Now, that would be global warming!)

 

The equator divides the earth in two.

(That’s probably why we in Australia feel cut off from Europe)

 

The moon is made of craters and stuff.

(Not as descriptive as one would like)

 

I am good at numbers and science, but I’m better than anything at English.

(Oh yeah?)

 

Walking down the street was a dead cat.

(Now that would be scary)

 

Asia Minor is a minor part of Asia

 

When you die you go to heaven and St Peter asks if you have been good in your life, which is silly because God should have told him about that already.

(And God knows what he didn’t)

 

A woodwind instrument is an instrument made of wood and wind.

 

I saw a film on TV called “A Fish Could Wander”

 

They say people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but I think people in any houses shouldn’t throw stones.

(The self-righteous kid kind of destroyed the meaning, didn’t he?

 

The isosceles triangle is where two sides are equal and one isn’t. 

(So there, Pythagoras!)

 

A centipede has a hundred legs and a millipede has a million legs.

(Which might explain why they don’t dance?)

 

Beheading people was once popular in England and France.

(Well, you know, some spectator sports eventually go out of style)

 

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